Navigating Conflict: How to Resolve Disputes with Your Spouse

Conflict is a phenomenon observed in every relationship. In a marriage, it becomes important or a nuisance at times. The question remains what it is treated with. Resolving conflict helps you build a more intense bond with your partner.

In this article, I will take you through the effective ways to resolve a dispute with your spouse to make your bond stronger.

Understanding Conflict

In order to discuss how conflicts can be resolved, it would be helpful to understand what a conflict really is. Generally, a conflict exists in that one party is bound to have different feelings, opinions, or needs than the other party.

Some reasons that couples may fight over include the following:

Backgrounds

Both of the partners bring their experiences and their perspectives.

Communication Styles

Some individuals tend to be very open-mouthed about everything, while others tend to keep their thoughts in their heads.

Major Stressors

Marital strain, work-related strain, or having a child are considered major stressors.

You have to know that conflicts are just normal circumstances of every relationship. There will be times when you and your wife do not agree on everything, but that is fine. The point is how to handle these conflicts well.

How Conflict is Resolved

The art of conflict resolution requires patience, understanding, and the willingness to compromise. There are very practical steps you can take:

1. Stay Calm

Nothing sets in sooner than when arguments heat up. Before the issue is addressed, a certain degree of cooling off needs to happen.

Here are some tips on how to regain composure:

• Take Deep Breaths: Inhale slowly for five, hold in for five, and exhale for five.
• Step Back: Take some space for a few minutes if you need to get a clearer head.
• Plan a “cool-down” time: Talk about this with your partner-time to revisit the conversation after some time has gone by.

2. Hear Me

Actually, in conflict resolution, one should listen. After your partner expressed their feelings and thoughts, here is an opportunity to use active listening:

• Maintain Eye Contact: Show them you are paying attention and hearing what they have to say.
• Tell them back what they said: Verify if you heard them correctly.

In doing so, you allow open communication.

3. “I” Statements

Don’t blame your partner. Instead, state your feelings to him or her by using “I” statements, which minimize defensiveness as well as keep the message focused on your feelings.

For example: Instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” you would say, “I feel overwhelmed when the chores aren’t shared.”

4. Seek Common Ground

Agree on some things, such as a mutual objective, peaceful relationship, or commitment to your marriage. You can’t work together without having something in common.

Example: You want each other to have a good family life, but you differ from each other in which sense. The common element will be in the lead in your discussion.

5. Compromise

Compromise is compromise to find the middle. It doesn’t mean giving in to what you want; you’re going to have to give something up on both sides.

Here are some ways to make compromise workable:

• List Possible Solutions: All options that work out for both.
• Discuss Each Solution: Discuss the pros and cons of each choice together.

Remember that compromise creates stronger bonds. It shows that you are willing to meet halfway.

6. Boundaries

Conflicts arise due to unmet expectations and, at times, unspoken misunderstandings. Discuss and agree on setting clear boundaries on how to avoid further conflicts.

That may include:

• Assigning respective chores.
• Lecturing personal time.

TIP: Generally, you will need to review your boundaries repeatedly, check if it is working for both of you.

When to Seek Help

Sometimes you may feel that your conflict does not seem entirely resolved and frustration heaps up. Here you may want to seek help outside:

• Counseling: A professional will assist you and give you tools to enhance your communication.
• Support Groups: Discussing issues with others who have faced or are facing the same problem can be very comforting.

Remember that, indeed, seeking help forms the true strength of a person. For you, it may signal an intent to grow further with your partner.

Conflicts Prevention

As much as you may never be in a position to completely avoid conflicts, it is undoubtedly true that their frequency would be able to decrease if more emphasis is given towards building a stronger foundation.

Some of the preventive measures include the following:

• Regular check-ins: Discuss openly with your partner how you feel and what bothers you occasionally.
• Team building: Engage in activities which pull you closer together, whether these be date nights or hobbies.

Conclusion

The whole thing need not be overwhelming with a partner. Staying calm and listening more attentively allows you to use your “I” statements, compromise more easily, and set appropriate boundaries to disagree healthily. Growth is what these experiences are meant to help you about.

Accept conflicts as an avenue of learning more about each other. The way you manage conflicts will either get you closer to or far from your spouse. You can trade conflicts for fantastic bonding moments for your marriage with ample practice and patience. What’s more is that any conflict can bring you closer! So what do you do on your next conflict with your spouse?